Letting Go

Okay, I haven't posted much really. Things have been considerably good on the home front, and I haven't found the need for my new "therapy" blog. This summer has been the best yet. I've learned many lessons these four blended years, and finally this summer some of those lessons have actually been "put to practice".
Don't get me wrong, the season has been full of the typical step mom let downs and disappointments; but I do believe in some ways I finally allowed God to hold me through it. Think about that statement. Can you truly say you have ever allowed the Lord to hold you? To be wrapped in arms of the Lord has been the most gratifying experience of my life. It has made every single mistake I've made, and hard lesson I've learned as a step mom completely worth it. I have been able to rest in the arms of the Most High King - of the Creator of the Universe. Name any other religion or faith that offers so much.
I am beginning to spot specific phases I (and the family as a result) go through in the summers. I haven't exhaustively examined each phase, just starting to take a bit of notice to their existence. Here is what I do recognize in each stage; there is one answer to prevent a disastrous reaction from myself...and that is letting go. The first phase is the "Step-mom again!" phase. This is the phase in which I realize once again, we are not the nuclear family I desire so often. This is the phase in which I have to let go of my selfish dreams, hopes and visions of family - laying them down at the alter to the Dream Giver, trusting He will and can do more than I ask or imagine. Then there is the "Step - mom isn't really mom" phase. This is the phase when I realize my plans often fail, or are overridden by what is best for the kids which is often times dictated by an ex. (Disclaimer to last statement - I have found that healthy boundaries are not sinful and good for our "not so nuclear" family.) Guess what....This is the phase in which I have to let go of my selfish dreams, hopes and visions of family - laying them down at the alter to the Dream Giver, trusting He will and can do more than I ask or imagine. Phase three...sighs...."Not a step-mom again". This is the phase in which I sometimes stride along a while before realizing...... I have to let go of my selfish dreams, hopes and visions of family - laying them down at the alter to the Dream Giver, trusting He will and can do more than I ask or imagine.
I can honestly say, if I never had become a step mom, I certainly would not have learned this cliche of "letting go" so early. Turns out not to be so "cliche" after all. It can be very painful and terrible - yet in His arms it is so worth it.