The Lessons: Part I

My last post was written a bit out of order. I will be entering four posts explaining what events led up to that statement and how I responded.

The Lessons: Part I

Emasculation: #1 Reason for Divorce

Since I've been divorced and remarried I have learned a lot about the mistakes I made the first time around. Women in our culture are almost applauded for emasculating men, namely their husbands. It is often masked as success and given praise, even in the Church, but I have learned to spot it from afar and call it what it is - sin. What's worse is that I still find myself often treating my husband in the same way. Undermining his authority as head of our home and spiritual leader of our family. Of course I am an over-achieving, ambitious women so it is okay for me to be over bearing - WRONG! In doing so, we cut off the very life blood of our husbands and make them feel like failures. They were designed by our Creator to desire and be fulfilled through the relationship of marriage. We, as wives have the incredible ability and precious role of help meet. What a privilege to be equipped to satisfy my husband in such a way - to be what He desires more than anything else. To think I was created to fulfill him in such a way that He would deem me the most precious thing in his life - above all else. Yet I often forfeit such a right simply by the way I behave. How many blessings do your children miss out on unknowingly simply because they weren't doing what they were supposed to be doing? Regardless, I've learned. I am ambitious now, not to repeat history - but to be the desired help meet my husband was designed to have. I want to meet his needs. I realized this was something I did to my ex-husband. I had a hand in emasculating him and making him feel like an utter failure. It is no big surprise he wanted out. When men are being discouraged to be men as they were created, they will ultimately rebel against whatever is standing in the way. Too often wives are standing in the way. Men typically in this situation do one of two things: leave, or look for "love" in all the wrong places. I'm not excusing men not working, leaving their spouses with all the responsibility of everyday life. I'm certainly not excusing infidelity. I'm an advocate and cheerleader of marriage, no matter how hard the situation seems. I simply feel like as women, enough is enough. We can no longer sin against the role God has given us as help meets to our husbands and jump on the "man - bashing" bandwagon and give them all the blame - just because our society is okay with it. We have to quit pointing our fingers and be willing to see where we have been at fault, repent and seek God. I am not responsible for my ex-spouses sin - only mine.