The Lessons: Part II

In the Spring I was waiting for my daughter to finish her private art lesson. Her art teacher was gracious enough to allow me to sit in her "prayer room". She was such a sweet lady. She would turn on the radio so I could listen to a Focus on the Family broadcast while I waited.

This particular Spring day, the program was about Father's and their daughters. The Lord convicted my heart as I listened and wept. My daughter needed her dad. Period. Of course the first thing I wanted to do is make it happen. Problem #1 - her dad doesn't pursue her, much less have a real, affectionate relationship with her. He does his every other weekend obligation and that is it. All I could do was pray and ask God if I was doing anything to add to the problem.

Not long after it occurred to me that although my daughter often voiced to me that she wanted to see her father more, I never mentioned it to him. I really thought I was doing the right thing by taking advantage of the time he didn't "want". After all - this is the better place for her, we love God, and teach her what is right. We are training her to recognize all the worldliness and to choose what is good and right instead. Her dad isn't a believer and her step mom can't stand us - therefore they can't teach her what she needs. They can't possibly be what she needs. Thank heavens her father isn't pursuing her. WOW! Did God change my heart.

The statistics are staggering. Simply put - little girls need their dads. And although I believe my husband is a better father to her than her biological dad will ever be - what's done is done. He is her father. His right to parent her is or should be the same as mine. He isn't on drugs, or abusive. Nothing illegal is going on, and although I feel spiritual darkness is dangerous - that certainly wouldn't be taken into consideration in the courts. Regardless, my authority isn't solely the courts - it is My King. And my King had just told me little girls need their daddies - that is how they are designed. Who am I to stand in the way of such a thing? Although I hadn't been intentionally keeping her away from them - I hadn't been doing all I could. But what should I do? I prayed.

After praying it occurred to me that my ex-spouse possibly didn't pursue my daughter more because I was still in the way. He didn't feel like he had a chance. It was so clear. I knew at this point, I needed to confront him and apologize for some of my behaviors during our marriage. He says all of two words to me at our drop off/pick up times. Besides my normal cussing about once a year, I get nothing more. I was nervous, but I did it. Then I prayed some more.

By this time it became clear that I needed to somehow communicate with my daughter's father and my ex-spouse her need. I prayed.